complicated simplicity

I have never felt so bloody outdone in my fucking life. 2 weeks of planning, thinking, weighing and everything else, just to be fucking outdone by the worst thing that could happen. Everything unravelled like a wool shirt with a loose thread, all dreams gone up in smoke. Why did I not think that something like that could happen? And I thought I had the masterstroke. Looks like I’m wrong. With this crash, I might never get another chance again, never.

It’s the kind of times when you tell yourself, “Someone up there doesn’t like me, and He’s telling me He’s in control.” And it’s time like this I tell myself, “No, *I’m* in control.” It’s true I’ve been outclassed by the most conceivable, I was naive and confident. That will not happen again. Even though opportunity may never knock again…

Perhaps, it’s closure… finally. It’s something I’ve been telling myself over the past month, to close this chapter in my life. But it’s something that’s wasn’t possible for me. Maybe now with this, it is perhaps, truly, closure.

Tags: Personal

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5. "I have learnt so much today." on March 16, 2006