Destroy, rebuild. Done? Now to conquer.

Written May 3, 2006 in Personal

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It’s really been a long while since I really had a bare-it-all talk about certain issues which have always been on my mind. I’ve been lucky to have a couple of friends whom I can talk about them, and over the last weekend, it was probably either the most clarifying or most confusing weekend of the year. I understood certain things, or I thought I did. I doubted myself, and felt fear for the first time in a long, long while. It was a weekend away, just. And I came back with confidence shattered, myself in shambles. To think I did it intentionally, for I always come back stronger after these sessions. Maybe a week or two of lows, but I’ve always been back stronger. This all in preparation for a tough term ahead. Because these sessions keep me in check and in shape for the fights ahead.

Over today, I packed up my room, picking up the pieces of my life, and did up a wall to remind myself.

The words up there write, “There are many reasons for living, these are mine, what’s yours?”

It’s been a while, and it’s going to take a while, but I’m going to be up and running. I have never known what has always been driving me on. But I realised, it’s these ‘destroy and rebuild’ sessions that kept me strong. It’s also the first time I did the wall and photos thing, but I realised it’s good, and helps me focus and relax. Maybe some of you out there would want to try it. My kids, my “family”, my friends and whatever you feel you wanna put up, I guess.

Now, what recent discovery about yourself shocks you most? Ask yourself that. I did that, and after thinking it through, I realised something. The discovery that shocks me most is the attribute my girl must have. Because it has smashed everything I thought before. Righto. Lovely ain’t it? Life just throws everything at you.