Oh well, this should never have happened.

Written February 5, 2009 in Personal

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I definitely could have done so much better today. I worked so hard to get this up, only to be unravelled by a failure to focus.  I knew I was in trouble the moment I started, the feeling was wrong. Something was just lacking. I wasn’t thinking for my students, I was just distracted. I just wished it had come at a better time.It definitely cost me my distinction.

I hate distractions. I never had many of them, and I never needed them. I could sit down and churn through things that needed to be done effectively and efficiently. Some people termed me inhuman, which I was. You had to be inhuman to not be distracted by things, in order to make the right decisions without bias. It’s simply my identity. I often get pissed with people who mess around with my focus, but yet there are those rare few I just let it go. Some people just need to appreciate me more.

Thanks Crystal for the coffee, I guess I really needed it at the end of the session. Sorry guys if I let you down, I was pretty sure everyone was expecting much more than what I gave. Even Dr Tan said so. Could feel the disappointment from her voice.

It’s a good night to go out, do a communications blackout and drink. Screw tomorrow’s presentation. Just fuck it.

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2 comments on ' Oh well, this should never have happened. '

  1. hey pal.. tink u are too uptight these few days.. chill, take a break… dun stress n force urself too much… :) wana go KL for a weekend break any time soon?

      Written by miao on February 06, 2009 at 2:32pm

  2. Hey, every lesson is different! Even the most experienced teachers I know who are well-liked and teach really well still gives lousy lessons every now and then, and struggles every year to come out with strategies to engage another batch.

    So don’t be too hard on yourself! Every day is different, even if the syllabus remains the same for 100 years.

      Written by yanjie on February 10, 2009 at 5:05am

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